The winner of the 2018 SMOFCon tournament: Mike Beneviste. Congratulations!
Now I have to figure out how to fit 30 pounds of poker chips into my 50 pound luggage allowance. I think I'll be wearing home onto the plane a couple of pieces of cold-weather gear that were in my checked luggage coming out, and that I'll have to carry-on my CPAP machine instead of putting it my checked bag.